Was talking to a friend recently, and was not sure what she was thinking about. Then I found that other people around joined her perspective. Well, I am not in her shoes that is for sure, yet I feel for the other people she is dealing with, not the ones who agreed with her.
Not sure why I disagree, but I did and still do disagree and not sure if I were in her place I would agree or do like her. I don’t know. The thing is she is a YOUNG stepmom for a teenager and a kid with no kids of her own , yet. Surely from all the movies we have watched and stories we might have heard and our personal memories of us as teenagers we remember how rebellious we were towards our own parents. So how about a stepmom!!
The discussion was about boundaries that were placed, which I totally agree with. Probably my objection was more to the attitude she said it rather than the fact itself. She was expressing her actions as achievements that she is proud of, reflecting some sort of victory and winner attitude. Yes boundaries are to be placed, but no not with that attitude.
Placing those house rules, and being proud of them. Letting her husband side with her most of the times, if not all the times according to her stories. Then going to show that she will not let this teenager’s power come over her own power, is that even a thing? I mean I do know teenagers (as I am living with one -sister-) but no matter what, for them (teenagers) that is a phase; why make it a thing?
Acting mean to reflect power, is that justifiable, in her case for now? Or is it because I’m not in her shoes so I don’t know how it feels and what she is doing actually is the right thing. My conflict is this stereo type of a stepmom which is not true, or so I tell myself. A mother is far away from a stepmother, that I’m sure of. Yet, a stepmother is not to be only mean and evil! There is no such a rule, or is there?
Base point again: What she did, does it represent strength? her acting victorious to her sharp rules in the house to represent her place in the house? or is just part of life that I did not experience?
Quick thought, could she be telling a very brief of the stories, as in telling them in such a way to look good and strong. Is it to cover other feelings and emotions?
not sure, but what I was thinking about when I first started writing this post is:
If you were in a higher position than someone else, regardless of age difference, would it be justifiable to act mean towards them if they were lower than you are? Is it right to act mean towards them to reflect your power?