I felt confused, lots of thoughts going through my head. Tried various ways to organise them, to find a systematic solution that would help me think things through without rushing into conclusion and start to demonstrate some solution.
It is not science I am talking about, it is something close to dad to day events. Yet all I was able to think about was my lovely tree. The tree that resembles stability, security, safety …. I thought to myself that I need to go there, I need to see it, I want to feel safe even if only for couple of minutes.
So I did, I went there, shut all the world around me, all the once, all the figures around me, it was only me and the tree. I could feel the difference in size between us, the ration was clear. I stood by it, my heart pounding hard. I started to move my hand on it, moved even closer to it, almost hugging it, and inside me thanking Allah for giving me the calmness and sense of security through this tree. Then I felt like crying, for me crying is discharge for negative feelings and emotions.
I must admit it, I did and do miss being around it.