I came back for December vacation, met some friends, said somethings that I didn’t really mean. Things I said that didn’t much represent who I am. At the end of the day I started asking myself: Why did I say what I said? Was I trying to blend? Well I felt in the middle of it all (middle of the conversation) I said things that contradicted what my friends were saying and for a short moment I was like a stranger to their philosophy of life and how it goes.
For some reason I felt a stranger to myself, to my own thoughts and believes now that I am around them. I was trying to fit it, that I tried to deny my own self, act to be someone else. That is not something right to do, I know. But is it because I felt like a stranger in my own place, between my own friends.
That made me think… is it that important to fit in than actually standing for our thoughts? Didn’t expect myself to do such a thing. Thought I have grown up from this status.