Being and acting are two different things. Some people might go with the assumption that if someone acts in a way that he/she is not like originally that they are just being phony, not considering that these people might want to change or improve themselves.
True that not all the times when people act something they are not means that they changed, it can be that they are just respecting/disrespecting the other part, could be that they are overcoming something they are going through, it can be other reasons. So before judging anyone of being an actor or double-facing, consider the odds that there IS something going on in their lives that is reflected in their actions.
That was one way of talking about being and acting, the other one is if you act one way it doesn’t mean that you are that person. As with parents, if they might act every now and then rough towards their kids, that doesn’t mean that they are rough to their kids and don’t like them. We keep on hearing the term that “I’m doing this for your own good”
Another example is from a personal experience. Being a girl and acting like one has multiple phases and angles in which one can interpret. Maybe the word girl is not the most accurate word, not even female, for these words one gets by birth, the word feminine is closer to what I got in mind, or as teen girls might go and call it girly-girl. Had a conversation with a friend about this issue revolving around the question (what does the word feminine means to you) and the conversation was summed to:
Between being and acting
Not surprising that it was this, for again, if a woman acts feminine she might not be so. How? Here are some examples: A female who takes well care of her looks, going to the spa and papering herself, doesn’t mean she is feminine, not fully though might be called so from appearance. There is the other side, the action side. According to my friend’s opinion there are some points that are in feminine characters that compliment those found in masculine characters: being calm, absorbing the heat that come from the other part, and soft, not meaning naievee and stupid. It is not all about appearances, it is how you act, the energy you spread and express, that is what differ masculine from feminine. Yes females can be dependent yet there is limits to everything, a thin line between every two opposite words.