Mixed emotions

I had the chance today to just stand outside while it was raining. How nice it felt to feel the drops hitting the jacket’s hody, then watch the drops sliding down the jacket, with gravity pulling them towards the floor. Amazing things that one can start noticing when trying to think of blankness, the thoughts and analysis of thoughts and things around us, as if we become more sensitive to everything that surrounds us.
I was trying to run away from my thoughts, from the mixed emotions that I had inside me. This sensation normally dealt with eating and eating and even more eating, but this time I didn’t feel like going that road, and found myself just lost in appreciating nature and its beauty, with my thoughts in the background.
Suddenly with the rush of thoughts or nature appreciation and my mixed emotions I just started crying, couldn’t control the tears as they came out of my eyes, sliding on my cheeks, merging with the rain drops. It took me some time before I was able to control myself. I didn’t feel guilt, sorrow, sadness or happiness, don’t know what was it that placed me in such emotional mix.
Not going to take back the tears or emotions, what happened is in the past now, what I’m thinking about now is the smile and its power, how great it can effect on someone, even if that someone is you, the one who is smiling.

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